The suddenly sad feeling

Hello my people!

I hope that all of us, you and me, will have a fantastic week ahead waiting for us.
This note is dedicated to the old me, the now me and the new me (possibly until I change my habit :p).

Yes! I have to say that I am right now suddenly feel so sad! All the sad memories came back to me within a moment that I was still living my normal life. Why? Why was I both so happy and then suddenly sad at the same time? I live a busy life with clear routines but today, I have no desire to sleep early even I was off the work sooner; I did meet a nice lady and seemed things will be promising between our cooperation; I just stared at the dried clothes, don’t even want to touch them or fold them nicely; and money, yes, who caring right now about the budgets is definitely not me. It is not a ‘whatsoever’. It’s ways more complicated than that teenage word. May I give you the answer?

Just simple things lead you back to a moment of sadness and sorrow, then you know you start to sink deeper or at least realise why you have been so busy and be happy quickly than you thought. I make all the schedule by myself. My day off is usually a weekday, since long time ago, I don’t have a weekend but honestly I told myself that I didn’t care. When you are young, you should love working and aim high, prepare for a long future. Nevertheless, now I know everything of course will be fine, with its right solusion!

Oh my god! It is not hard to trust people.
It’s just too hard to believe in persons who hurt your feeling, again!

Mother advised me not to trust anyone but believe in myself. . . It doesn’t make sense right now, since now. How can you live without trust? Many things happen and surely something else will turn up, people change, life goes on, we keep moving on. We don’t even have time to explain or complain, to speak out our mind, fire away the words. I don’t even have courage to mention the tales any more since it betrays my rule ( If you forgive, you clear everything to get a new start!) and also, it hurts more, the quiet pains. We are afraid of what human says about us, who are human. What a cul-de-sac!

I wish that I could have made my mind clearly, to say more, write more about what hurt at once after stories happened. I also hope my mum had told me to believe in the right people, not ‘no trust in anyone’ when I stay so far away, too far to not be able to get back to her when I dreadfully cried. At all time, I wish myself to not try changing any human being in my life. We need to be different, it will be like different shades of a wonderful painting. Just leave it there and enjoy the art of living, so I wouldn’t be so sad like this.

The night is such an enemy. It is noisy, so noisy with the wind and the sound of car engines, the foot step of small funny pets or the tick-tack of clocks featuring with raindrops on the window. You will never be fine if you deal with things at night! You will never be fine when your are already tired!

Leave it there, take a rest and see what tomorrow brings to you..

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I don’t know, you know. Because if I do know, I would never have to say oh no.

MP.