Younger Me

Almost weekend, I cannot wish for more!

How have you all been? I hope you had great time at work and relaxing weekend waiting for you!

I finished one of the biggest project in my life today and now I am totally in mood for the weekend even though Friday will still come with other tasks. You know what, if you have been working for one month without any literarily Saturdays and Sundays off from work, you will understand my feeling now!!!!! I did feel so¬†old after these hard time but then today, I’m telling you what held me on honestly.

I have a habit that I usually write a letter for myself and save it for the tough time. I have to say that actually when I feel so down, I cannot remember the letter at first. If I am tired, I just want to forget the world and wish that everybody loses my contact or completely have no idea about me; just leave me alone, in other words! After one or two days, I choose to clean my rooms; start at the place that I’m standing to make significant changes; then it is the moment I found out the letter I wrote for myself long time ago. This time, it happened like a miracle when I was under a lot of pressures and overworked and my health condition got worse. The story in the letter is the one I had already got over two years ago and I always recall this memory as the most special one in my life (until now). The point is, even though the situations are different now and then, if I can do once, I can make it twice! The younger me told me to believe in myself that nothing can be worst than losing myself. She also advised me to take not just a deep breath but as many deep breaths as I can in order to create the balance for myself. Frankly, and admittedly, I am afraid of what other people think of me, judge me and criticise me. I can see it from myself that I try to be nice, even submissive most of the time to let people express themselves but there must be complaint(s) since nobody is perfect. The annoying fact is that I hate myself if I do not try to do as best as I can while the dilemma is that I should not do everything by myself because it would put pressure on my colleagues and make them feel uncomfortable, would put me in bossy situation and keep seeing the lack of proficiency of my team mates, and importantly I would stay reserved since I prefer working alone to save my time and keep my superficial image (always nice and smile with mad brain).

I want to be better and to open my mind so I tried to find a way to improve myself whenever I can. I know my problem and honestly when life gets hard just because of my thoughts about a hard life, I speak to my own that life is so hard out there so I don’t have to be the one to punish myself. One of the best method is reading the dear letters by people who you trust the most, in my case is the letter written by younger me. I also do yoga and meditation but last project took all of my time so the best solution was sleeping! Drinking detox liquid (warn still water and fresh lemon juice with 2 drops of honey) help my body and my skin maintain the water. I usually joke with my friends that with enough coffee, I can do anything. Detox liquid provides great amount of vitamin C and water that has been taken from all cups of joe! That’s basically all my cure for the hardest time ever since I moved out to leave alone. Some cures comes from common knowledge, others comes from personal emotions and memories. We all need both, don’t we?

These are what I have recently. What is yours? ^____^

I will see you real’ soon, with some facts about me for this month x

Have a nice weekend, everyone!