Never says never

Hello there!

I had gone away for one week and now I’m back.  I hope that you are all doing fine, almost (another) weekend so doing your best, people!

This post is mainly to talk about what I think or thought that I would never ever do in my life are always turning out that yes, I have to when the situations come and I am the one holding the flag! The metaphor itself is commonly used in my culture so please don’t mind my words. It just means that when you say no or never about anything, normally everything comes and you have to say yes despite of whatsoever you did say before.

My story is the same in many occasions. To be honest, I am a hard-to-please style in some of my favourite fields. The first one is about service. Meaning service is meaning about people’s behaviour. For me, I always pay attention to waiters and waitresses in the restaurants that I usually come. I know who is who, what time this person or that person works, which baristta is the best for which drink… and to make sure people there know my ‘regular’. After a while when they know me, I always order my own drink or food. They don’t mind, really, and I love all places that I usually come now, or often came in the past before I moved to another cities. However, I do not just think about what they do or remember about my own recipe; I often focus on the waiters and waitresses’ skills. Whether they are good enough at management the time of serving food, welcoming customers, remembering tables and serving right orders… Once time, I remembered I told myself that if I had a chance to be a waitress one day, I would always bring the water to customer who were waiting for their dishes. It would be nice you know when you can keep chatting with your friends and have something to drink in your waiting time. At least, water smoothen your throat! then, I got the chance last summer. After that, I really that I could not serve water as I always thought. The restaurant is not mine, I cannot do what I want because I am an employee and my boss is the king of the empire. Even if the tab water is incredibly cheap as for free, not all customers need to drink it, even me, no tab water for me, only still or mineral, please! Now I know that even though there was only me facing the embaracing truth that I couldn’t tackle the issue that I sweared I would do when I got a chance, I should consider the case carefully in many angles to fully understand the reason why things happens to be their own ways.

Here we come with the second situation. As I mentioned in my last post (facts in my life), my parents thought that I would have become a good teacher but I always know that I am so bad at controling my temper so with kids, I am such a loser (ask my siblings, you will see!). Besides, I can be good at doing anything that I have to do even though I like it or not, if that is the time to do such things, I will put my efforts in the projects without looking at the annoying parts and just looking at the final results, which is pleasure for me. That is one of the contributing factors that my parents take my ability for granted that I am good at mathematics or literature or history (or at least that I like all of the subjects that I have studied in my life). For me, maths is for counting my salary. History is for analysing the historical movies or events when I have free time. And Physics is definitely for fixing households when my husband travels far from home. I would never think of teaching my kids any of these subjects or being able to answer the questions if they have problems in classes or exams. I would not dream of being a teacher or a lecturer or tutor for any single subject even though I like reading (probably suitable for Literature), love singing (can be good at Music), and enjoy learning languages (yes, English or any other languages that I have learned). Nevertheless, life guides me into different paths that I need to learn to adapt myself, step out of my comfortable zone to be ready to learn more.

Right now, I am actually teaching kids Mathematics and will be English as well. Sometimes, I cannot believe what is happening. At first, when I agree to teach Maths (in english), it is mainly for extra cash admittedly. I never learned Maths in english. I stop learning Maths longs time ago. One day I had been asked by one of my friends help her son at the weekend for the subject and I randomly checked the book and realize that it would not be hard so I said OK! Well, problems only come when you actually put your hands to work. How can I explain concepts that I have known for years in another language to a kid who is always questioning the tricks or tips that I give him rather than excepting it and keeping things easy on me? I don’t really think that he is my student, I am a student myself as well. It means that I start learn Maths (after a while) in english (for the first time) to be able to teach the kid. That is when I realize I actually gain meaningful knowledge than just some notes. I understand the system of young boys, how they think about the world, about other people around, and how different culture impacts on education systems. I also learn how to deal with kids and influence their thoughts. I achieve a lot, I can be sure about that now. That is the reason why I agree to teach English as well (I am confident about English more than Maths ^^). For English, I plan to spend time not just let the kids write about specific topics but allow my mind to see the diversity of imaginations in people. I love reading and writing, as well as improve my vocabulary so why not?

So these are some of the cases happening to me that makes me feel like right now, everything can happen and I just need to open and accept it, enjoy the ride but never forget to learn.

What are yours? I would love to hear about it. I also hope that when we are young, we should not expect things to be easy and simply comfortable for us because you cannot learn by not actually working on stuffs yourself. You should make mistake more and more and challenge yourself as much as you can. You are young right? In real time and in your soul, you will always have chances to live your life whenever you want.

Cheers x

MP.

8 facts about me ( for February!)

It is almost weekend and nearly finish the second month of 2014!!!!!!
I don’t know about you but my weekend this week ‘s gonna be busy since I have deadline next Monday so God blesses me!! x

Today post is about my (other) 8 facts in my real life. I know that I am not really “normal” since I want to stay anonymously but still give you some facts about my life. I just simply believe that when I open myself to people even though they have never ever seen me and they still give a smile of recognition for my words, it means a real connection. That’s all I hope and I want for when I do this blog 😡

So, let’s start!

1. Since I was a kid, my parents believed that I could be a good teacher in the future because I was pretty good at learning things by heart. Honestly, I am in the opposite side. It is not because I’m bad with kids, I just want to dance and do plays. Parents usually think that when you are a kid, you have no idea about what you learn and will not remember the joy and the happiness you would have at that super young age for doing what you love to do. NO!!! I miss and remember everything even now.
2. My younger brother looks different from me just because he has special eyelids (which means to be very handsome when he grows up, for sure!!!) 😛
3. I like photography and I admire talented, hardworking photographers. However, for myself, I just use a compact camera since the professional one is too heavy and I have been taught that the best tool and the best light is the one you have in your hands, no matter what!
4. The amount of books that I own is much more and heavier than my clothes :-<
5. I keep my diary with me all the time. And a pen, of course!
6. If we actually know each other in real life, after 1 year without meeting, you will never recognise me if you spot me at the back because my hair grows fast. One year means short becomes long like never ever being cut -.-
7. I can make a book ( and already made one!)
8. My beauty tip for nice skin is eating one apple every morning x ( Trust me, ladies and gentlemen!!!)

These are factors which have been selected randomly in my life. If you keep tracks by reading my blog, you may code each of them to see what are important in my real life x Not so complicated, isn’t it? ^^

I hope that you are doing well and I’ll see you on March xoxo

MP.

Younger Me

Almost weekend, I cannot wish for more!

How have you all been? I hope you had great time at work and relaxing weekend waiting for you!

I finished one of the biggest project in my life today and now I am totally in mood for the weekend even though Friday will still come with other tasks. You know what, if you have been working for one month without any literarily Saturdays and Sundays off from work, you will understand my feeling now!!!!! I did feel so old after these hard time but then today, I’m telling you what held me on honestly.

I have a habit that I usually write a letter for myself and save it for the tough time. I have to say that actually when I feel so down, I cannot remember the letter at first. If I am tired, I just want to forget the world and wish that everybody loses my contact or completely have no idea about me; just leave me alone, in other words! After one or two days, I choose to clean my rooms; start at the place that I’m standing to make significant changes; then it is the moment I found out the letter I wrote for myself long time ago. This time, it happened like a miracle when I was under a lot of pressures and overworked and my health condition got worse. The story in the letter is the one I had already got over two years ago and I always recall this memory as the most special one in my life (until now). The point is, even though the situations are different now and then, if I can do once, I can make it twice! The younger me told me to believe in myself that nothing can be worst than losing myself. She also advised me to take not just a deep breath but as many deep breaths as I can in order to create the balance for myself. Frankly, and admittedly, I am afraid of what other people think of me, judge me and criticise me. I can see it from myself that I try to be nice, even submissive most of the time to let people express themselves but there must be complaint(s) since nobody is perfect. The annoying fact is that I hate myself if I do not try to do as best as I can while the dilemma is that I should not do everything by myself because it would put pressure on my colleagues and make them feel uncomfortable, would put me in bossy situation and keep seeing the lack of proficiency of my team mates, and importantly I would stay reserved since I prefer working alone to save my time and keep my superficial image (always nice and smile with mad brain).

I want to be better and to open my mind so I tried to find a way to improve myself whenever I can. I know my problem and honestly when life gets hard just because of my thoughts about a hard life, I speak to my own that life is so hard out there so I don’t have to be the one to punish myself. One of the best method is reading the dear letters by people who you trust the most, in my case is the letter written by younger me. I also do yoga and meditation but last project took all of my time so the best solution was sleeping! Drinking detox liquid (warn still water and fresh lemon juice with 2 drops of honey) help my body and my skin maintain the water. I usually joke with my friends that with enough coffee, I can do anything. Detox liquid provides great amount of vitamin C and water that has been taken from all cups of joe! That’s basically all my cure for the hardest time ever since I moved out to leave alone. Some cures comes from common knowledge, others comes from personal emotions and memories. We all need both, don’t we?

These are what I have recently. What is yours? ^____^

I will see you real’ soon, with some facts about me for this month x

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

MP.

Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

I have been busy doing work and group meeting recently so I could not post any new topic after the last sadness.

As you all know that I am an Asian. In my country, as well as other asian/ southeast asian countries, we celebrate Lunar New Year as we follow two systems of calendars, one like Western calendar depending on the movement of the sun, and the other one is following the moon; that’s why we call it ‘Lunar’. For Asians, we treat ourselves a Lunar New Year holiday like Western people’s Christmas time. We always miss our families if we cannot come back, we miss the traditional cuisines specially made for the holiday. Once a time each year, we gather around with our family members and go to visit our relatives, call our friends for best wishes and happiness for them in the new year. Oh, and we actually have some days off before the Lunar New Year Eve, then we clean the house with kids, we buy new clothes, decorate every corner with beautiful flowers…It is the best time of the year! Time for the old, and the new; for the beginning and the present.

Every year, I make a New Year Revolution list. Last year, I just wished I could have read more books and drink more water, train my body to be in shape then all would be great ( yes, greedy me :p). This year, looking back at last 12 months, I realise that I did loose weight a little bit. It is an excuse when I said I started keeping track on my weight ONLY since November but still, I did keep my body balanced since then till now and hopefully be better before summer of 2014. About books, I finished 3 fictions and 5 academics, oh yeah. It is not bad, isn’t it? I will do my best so don’t worry that I’ll change sooner or later. That’s not my style when it comes to books! Water? 1 pint every morning after waking up 😉

So what is next? Due to my routine sine late 2013 until now, I have been extremely busy working, meeting people, doing small projects, sharing time with my family and friends…and maintaining my hobbies at the same period of time (each week for my case). That’s why I want to learn ‘How to use time efficiently’. I have a lot of things that I have to do, I must do, I want to do and I need to do. How to tackle the Time topic, it’s not easy.
Afterthat, I officially want to gain experiences about dealing and negotiating with people – Human Beings! It is so hard, oh my god! How can it supposed to be this way since I am always being the submissive style to forget about myself and give others chances to be happier with whatsoever they wish for? I changed, didn’t I? I felt guilty at the same time with confusing and truly sadly mad when I tried to treat people well every time and one time happened differently then I felt so lost. It is not about creating a perfect image in colleagues’ eyes, I might overwork so I felt tired of everything. However, I don’t have time to stop even. Snow ball effect influences my mood a lot and I really want to escape sometimes. What they usually say is right, bad things come at the same time! I’m so missing my carefree moments, learning stuffs that I like, talking to people who close to me, staying my mom, dad and siblings.
(Detailedly, I used to wish that I could work with people I knew already and we were then a perfect team. The fact proved me so wrong!!!! Lame excuses, lack of responsibilities, blaming and keep blaming, a series of No this and No that… Oh gosh! That’s why you should do business with your customers, your clients, your never-met-before people, even your competitors…just NOT your folks!)

I still consider myself as a lucky person because I have my job, I have my position and I still (want to) believe in myself. And I have you, my readers, who will listen to me when I have hard time to express my feelings.
Thank you for all of the time you spend here x

After all, it is a new year!
When we are young, we can learn to understand. Time and Human beings are the most two difficult subjects to master so be persistent and patient! Hard working will be paid back x

Great Lunar New Year, everyone!
Happy and Successful 😡

MP.

The suddenly sad feeling

Hello my people!

I hope that all of us, you and me, will have a fantastic week ahead waiting for us.
This note is dedicated to the old me, the now me and the new me (possibly until I change my habit :p).

Yes! I have to say that I am right now suddenly feel so sad! All the sad memories came back to me within a moment that I was still living my normal life. Why? Why was I both so happy and then suddenly sad at the same time? I live a busy life with clear routines but today, I have no desire to sleep early even I was off the work sooner; I did meet a nice lady and seemed things will be promising between our cooperation; I just stared at the dried clothes, don’t even want to touch them or fold them nicely; and money, yes, who caring right now about the budgets is definitely not me. It is not a ‘whatsoever’. It’s ways more complicated than that teenage word. May I give you the answer?

Just simple things lead you back to a moment of sadness and sorrow, then you know you start to sink deeper or at least realise why you have been so busy and be happy quickly than you thought. I make all the schedule by myself. My day off is usually a weekday, since long time ago, I don’t have a weekend but honestly I told myself that I didn’t care. When you are young, you should love working and aim high, prepare for a long future. Nevertheless, now I know everything of course will be fine, with its right solusion!

Oh my god! It is not hard to trust people.
It’s just too hard to believe in persons who hurt your feeling, again!

Mother advised me not to trust anyone but believe in myself. . . It doesn’t make sense right now, since now. How can you live without trust? Many things happen and surely something else will turn up, people change, life goes on, we keep moving on. We don’t even have time to explain or complain, to speak out our mind, fire away the words. I don’t even have courage to mention the tales any more since it betrays my rule ( If you forgive, you clear everything to get a new start!) and also, it hurts more, the quiet pains. We are afraid of what human says about us, who are human. What a cul-de-sac!

I wish that I could have made my mind clearly, to say more, write more about what hurt at once after stories happened. I also hope my mum had told me to believe in the right people, not ‘no trust in anyone’ when I stay so far away, too far to not be able to get back to her when I dreadfully cried. At all time, I wish myself to not try changing any human being in my life. We need to be different, it will be like different shades of a wonderful painting. Just leave it there and enjoy the art of living, so I wouldn’t be so sad like this.

The night is such an enemy. It is noisy, so noisy with the wind and the sound of car engines, the foot step of small funny pets or the tick-tack of clocks featuring with raindrops on the window. You will never be fine if you deal with things at night! You will never be fine when your are already tired!

Leave it there, take a rest and see what tomorrow brings to you..

I don’t know, you know. Because if I do know, I would never have to say oh no.

MP.

8 facts about me ( for January!)

1. I love breakfast with Coffee and Croissant.

1. My english name has the same meaning with the one my family gave me since I was born (Everything has a reason! Random choice? Nah nah!)

2. Until now, martial arts is the hobby I wish I learned when I was a kid along side with music and art ( sing, dance, plays and drawing, as simple as possible to explain)

3. I can speak fluently 2 languages and already started my 3rd one.

4. Smelling books is one of my habits.

5. I usually love doing housework enough to not fancying nail polishes, but, when I do my nails, I only apply colours in 3 nails maximum, and all colours are different at the same time.

6. I wear black socks.

7. I feel uncomfortable to (even) try or wear animal-printed clothes (no offence, just different choices at different ages)

The point is, I may change sooner or later. I hope that this post would not only help you get to know me but also help myself to keep a record of my own lifestyle. All these 8 factors has been with me for minimum 5 years and right now, I have no desire to change anything yet. Sometimes, if you write down things about yourself, you will realise how committed you have stayed for your true self or the other face of the coin, how boring you have lived in your young time. I don’t know…confusingly great maybe. If I am happy when I reread it in the future, I will constantly smile. In case I’m not, I think I just keep posting other facts, the currently new ones, yeah. We will see x

Have a fun Friday and nice weekend, people x

MP.

Moonily welcome!

I start this blog today, on 18 of January because one of my greatest memory began on an 18th some years ago. It was when I was really young, not just young…too young!

Now is in 2014, I’m in my 20s, the most precious time of a human life but I know why young people like me think it is not that precious since we have to spend time at schools, at work while we start to talk about money and jobs or unknown yet but scary ‘future’ waiting for us. I’m in that time, too so I understand the situation totally. However, it is still the time of youth, time of not being scared at all because this time, we are still young (enough to do it again)!

One of my new year revolution is to write more (or type more to share more so learn more). It seems simple without the brackets. That is everything I want in this year, not love as a couple, not super gorgeous dream as a famous star, not luxury clothes as a rich lady. I am young, sorry to admit, but that is the right for me to keep learning. Everybody can, they just refuse to do so.

I cannot tell you what exactly happen to make me create a new blog, I simply dislike Facebook recently and have an interest to stay anonymously when I write, like using pseudonym. ‘Moonppyong’ is Moon with ‘a heart’ in one of my mother language. With that name, I hope to write more stories in this life with my own heart to let people know me and understand my life more. Maybe it is not just my life, it can be many other persons’ situation, the point is who will speak first to find out that others would be the same, matching souls.

In the past, I would hate to express myself. I stayed away from a lot of people whom I had no idea about but no desire to know them, either. Why? Now I’m asking myself the same question. Did they hurt me? No. Were they bad people? Not quite or no idea. Any one stopped me to close to them? Who knew! Yes, nobody knows, even me. Of course, the fact that I cannot open myself to every single person that I have met but at least, I should trust human. Common! I kicked my own ego! There was one time when on the way getting back home after work, I told myself that if I trust human, it means that I trust myself, my choice as well. That was the time I realized how frustrated I had been, just deny to accept the truth.

Maybe because I am young, but now I know I have time, the treasure of life. So I am ready to share and learn.

I am an Asian living in one of the coolest city in the world, just so you know (a fact!) ^^
Please call me Ppyong, it will make us close.

Welcome to my space 😡